My Story
So, everybody has a story. The journey that brought them to where they are now.
Mine isn't that interesting but I think it's needed for perspective of my thoughts and feelings, especially with regards to my body. Let's start with where I am now.
My name is Emmy, I'm 25, newly-wed to my wonderful husband Myke. I weigh 14 stone (196lbs) which is the highest I have ever weighed, and I wear a UK size 16 now (not my highest dress size which was a UK 22 - go figure)
As a child I was always very thin, ate lots of things that was bad for me and never had to worry. This carried on well into my teenage years when I was a UK size 4 (although you could never buy size 4 then, size 6 was the closest, but there was room to spare). This was far to skinny for my 5'6" frame but it wasn't intentional, I just never needed to worry about my size. I think at my lightest (I very rarely used scales, i didn't have reason to) I weighed about 7st 4lbs(100lbs) and i would never want to go there again. Although I do have pictures of me looking a LOT thinner, this is a pretty decent representation of me as a 17 year old.
I ate anything I wanted without a second thought. I was a typical teenager though in as much as i still looked "fat" to me, which I now know was nothing a bit of toning wouldn't have cured. But true as that was I was never especially bothered by this fact and loved the fact that I could always wear the smallest clothes commercially available. This was mostly due to my passion for dance. Line dancing to be specific although any form of dance came naturally to me. I would be dancing for a minimum of 4 hours a day, 6 days a week. Often more.
Strangely enough, I wasn't terribly fit. I could (and did) partake in "marathon" dance sessions, my record being about 5 hours non-stop (not even for toilet breaks!) but ask me to do "proper" exercise and I'd be useless. I couldn't run to save my life (still can't), I had no upper body strength at all (Still don't) although the strength in my lower body could not be faulted. The only niggle I occasionally had was from an injury I sustained in high school on my ankle (snapped tendon - ouch).
I believe that this was due to psychological reasons rather than physical ones. Dancing, never felt like exercise to me.
However, just before I was 18, I had an accident which involved me falling from a roof and sustaining impact fractures up my legs (I managed to land on my feet but since I was wearing fashion trainers at the time there was no shock absorption) and leaving me in a wheel chair. I couldn't dance. Out of habit I ate my usual diet, out of boredom I ate more. By the time I was out of the wheelchair i was a size 10 and didn't look any different to myself. Here's a photo of me, my parents and my best friend on my 18th.
However, due to the long break from dancing, I had found other ways of spending my time and couldn't seem to fit dancing into my schedule anymore. Slowly I ended up not being a dancer anymore. Not so slowly, the weight crept on. I quickly went up to a size 20 tipping the scales at 12st (168lbs). However, due to failed contraception I fell pregnant. I suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum which left me bed ridden for a month before we discovered (before complications) that my pregnancy was ectopic. By the time I was back on my feet, I was back to a size 10-12 and happy about that. I kept the weight off for 3 years, easily without having to worry about how to keep it off (I have always been good at maintaining).
After getting with my now husband, I had the Implanon implant fitted and had to have it out within a year due to my body rejecting it. However, what my body didn't reject was the hormonal imbalance that causes weight gain. Before long I tipped the scales at just under 14st. I have struggled for 3 years to get rid of this weight, but never succeeding in losing more than about half a stone (6lbs) before putting it back on again. After my honey moon in Florida, I returned to find my weight at 14st exactly and I have since been told I have high blood pressure.
It is time to kick this weight into touch. It has ruined my body, my confidence and I'm not going to let it ruin anything else. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to join a gym, or a slimming club even though I know both would benefit me. Instead I am going to take advantage of all the free/cheap ways you can lose weight, turning to online support groups, my husband, my cooking skills (I love cooking), my love of dance, the park, my dogs and all the other ways of keeping myself motivated and improving my life.
I will slip up, I will get frustrated but most importantly, I will get myself in shape even better shape than I was. And I hope you will join me on this ride.
